…..AND FIRST FOR 2015

GOOD MORNING WORLD

The first few days of this year were fine and still filled with food and fun.  Yesterday driving to a gathering I was listening to a gift I got for Christmas.  I had asked for and received a collection of John Denver CD’s.  It is a wonderful gift and I am certain I will enjoy it more as I get to listen to it all.  Only got a chance to hear one and a half of the four discs.  If you like him I highly suggest it.  It is newly released box set “All My Memories”.

Also there was a conversation over lunch around music yesterday.  How fun that the last word of that sentence was one of the most famous songs by this group.  A lunch companion was commenting on a comment that had been made referencing Paul McCartney.  The comment mentioned Paul and then went on to say ‘whoever he was”.  The conversation was around the fact of the Beatles popularity.

I contended that, in fact, there may be people in this world who have no idea nor care who the Beatles were.  If you are not into rock/pop music you would have no clue as to the identity of Paul and John, George and Ringo.  In fact, Ringo may be more known more for his stint as the conductor on a railroad  than his drums!

I contended it is all relevant to the time in which you were raised and the music you heard in your home.  I went on to say that few would have known the Dorsey brothers or Glenn Miller if they had not been raised with them.  One of the dinner companions touted that big band music was nowhere near as popular worldwide as the Beatles.   I could not argue that point.  I maintained the premise though that what you grew up with lasts with you as far as knowledge of the popularity of groups and genres of music.

I listened to, and our kids heard, various forms of music in our home.  We listened to and played show tunes, pop, rock, folk, gospel, country (though very little then), bluegrass, classical with even a little new age thrown in for good measure.  Their tastes vary now as adults themselves.  Among my favorites was John Denver.

I liked his voice and his music.  It was not until I was reading the booklet with the collection yesterday that I realized how prolific he was.  I knew he had written many of my favorite folks songs. I knew others artists sang and made his music popular.  I also knew he died way too young.   He finally got a star on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame in Oct of last year.  Colorado has adopted “Rocky Mountain High” as a state song as has West Virginia with “Take Me Home Country Roads”.

I was lucky to see him in concert.  That is a whole other story though I have to mention he took the stage and never left.  He sent his band out for an intermission.  He stayed and played alone on the stage for the intermission and looked like he was simply having fun.

I am not sure if it was the lunch, the music, the memories it evoked or the anticipated quiet that I would be encountering upon going home that encouraged the precipitation that came to my eyes.  I just know all of a sudden I was extremely melancholy if not slightly depressed.  I was concerned about my demeanor at the gathering to which we were headed.   Is this how the new year was going to begin?  Rocky Mountains and Sunshine made John Denver high and here I was with moisture in my eyes feeling very much in a valley not on a mountain top.

My last post on facebook last night was:

…….well there it is and it could have stayed away – the quiet is here…..oh well heavy sigh………….

I awoke this first Monday of 2015 with dread as I had a dentist appointment that I knew was going to have me sitting for a crown and facing many dollars.  Tomorrow I have a root canal scheduled.  I am feeling old and thinking I am falling apart.  The world seemed heavy as I got out of bed and showered.  I did not even bother to put on a light.  There was nothing I wanted to see.  Certainly not this aging bloated from Christmas food body.  I left for the dentist.  Even the welcomed calls before I left did little to lift my mood.

At the dentist office I pick up a magazine called “Departures”.  In research just now I discovered it is for Platinum American Express members.  While in the office the destinations and dress did little to lift me as they were way over any budget I have or could even imagine.  It is my turn to sit in the chair.

The assistant came in to put on the bib and scope out the problem.  I said my tooth had broken apart and I probably need a crown.  She asked which side and I said the left.  She looked in my mouth on the right side.  I simply pointed to the other in sadness and concern that she did not know her left from her right.

My dentist comes in cheery as ever.  Dr. Brian has the demeanor of a happy cartoon character and I needed this today.   He too asks and looks and then says I think we can fix this with a filling and would know better when he got in there to clean it out.

I cannot tell you the feeling that flowed over me.  I felt my mood lighten slightly.  I no longer felt heavy and burdened like the heaviness of the lead bib they put on to take an x-ray.  I saw color not gray.  Was it going to be this simple.  It was.

I left the office……….I must take an aside here.  This office is a warm friendly place.  I really enjoy the people working there.  They smile and give everyone a warm welcome and goodbye.  It makes it easy for me to go there as I am a white knuckle dentist person.  For me it is the worst thing I have to do for my health.

I left the office with a lighter soul.  I said Good Morning to everyone I met as I was leaving.  That was fun as you could see the mixed expressions.  Who is she? I could see on the first person.  How come she is speaking? from the second. This is uncomfortable said one face?  The last gentlemen responded in kind.

I put my ticket in the machine to pay my parking fee to discover I was in there less than an hour so no cost.  Well I will be darned!  Feeling lighter still.

The office is not far from our home so the ride home is short.  Snow started coming from the gray sky.  A smile was coming to my face I could feel it as I relaxed.

The sky now is blue with clouds and sun.  The day has changed.  My mood has changed.  I am streaming my new CD from the web and smiling.  What a difference small simple actions or things can make.  OH MY!!!

It is a New Year.  Imagine the possibilities to come.

…..ONWARD TO MORE MISADVENTURE…

MONDAY MONDAY

GOOD MORNING WORLD

As you know usually I like Mondays. This one has dawned with a bright sun after a pink tinged sunrise.  Now does pink tinge mean I must be worried about weather or not???  The house is horridly quiet.  I cannot anticipate little shuffles coming in to give me hugs this morning.  When I had my desk on the adjoining wall our youngest used to be able to make and end run across the family room and jump in my lap and hug.   I moved the desk.  He was getting so big the chair would occasionally tilt after 25′ run!!!  They all still come in around the corner and hug ‘The Grandmama’ before they sit to watch ‘kid’s shows’ for a bit to wake up.  It is quiet today!  That is okay.

I am disconnected from the list of to-dos that must be completed by the end of the week.  The list is long the task not all so easy and the time finite.  I will do what I can with the time I have and accept as best I can any failure.  That is okay.

I have not been successful in my try to keep my posts to under 500 words I noticed recently.  I will give it an effort again.  I have a sneaky suspicion that today’s post may be the first of this next trial.  That is okay.

The house is in a state of total ‘uncleanliness’.  Again I will make a list – a very long one – and do what I can.  In fact if I plow through the paperwork on this desk I bet I can find a list I made a few months ago that will have all the same to do jobs on it.  Those were not complete as I am betting there are no scratch offs on that list.  That is okay.

I have a ton of emails to clean up on the computer.  I have a few that I must create for publication next Monday and of course I have the blog to write for the next 53 days.  OH my that is a shocker.  It is only 53 days more.  It seemed such a hard task when I was looking at 365 days.  I may just make this one goal.  I wonder what it will be like in 54 days.  It appears I spend too much time on the computer.  That is okay.

I have a dentist appointment later this morning.  It is to review what we have done so far to fix a pain I am still living with.  It is my least favorite kind of appointment.  I will survive this yet again.  That is okay.

After this appointment I can focus on the festivities of tomorrow.  We are going to quietly celebrate my husband’s birthday.  I will go shopping this afternoon to find something I think he might like.  He is a man of few needs and lesser wants.  One could say he has everything as he has me.  The laugh would circulate the world.  It will be fun to focus on the dinner as it is not his regular choice.  Instead of the normal Risotto con Pollo alla Piedmontese (that is chicken and rice in a tomato sauce for us) he wants stuffed pork chops with gravy.  It is the stuffing and gravy that he wants – the pork simply houses it all.  That is okay!

It is a random Monday morning.  It will not be the lazy day I enjoy and yet it will be a good day.  In the end isn’t it what we make of our day, our life, and our loves that is important?  It is our choice.  If doing what I can is not enough then so be it.  That is okay.

…..ONWARD TO MORE MISADVENTURE…

PITY PARTY – SORRY

GOOD MORNING WORLD

You may stop right here if you choose.  I am having a pity party today.  I am falling apart according to the root canal doctor yesterday.  I know there is a really big name for them and cannot remember what it is and not really interested in trying.

This Dr. was not quite as bad as the Hitler Frankenstein I had the first time I was there.  She was not that much better.  I decided part of it is the set up of their cubicles.  Now picture this.  I am in the chair facing forward.  The x-ray machine is in my view down by my toes.  She – yes it was another woman – comes in and sits on a stool by the top of my head.  In order to look at her sitting up I have to crick my neck to the left and look up and around.  The other alternative is to actually sit up and swing your legs around out of the chair to turn back to her.  This creates warmth?  Friendliness?  NO – it is business and I am not a person again!

She was jabbering on and on and finally I started to get out of the chair, put my hand out and said, “Please slow down I cannot understand what you are trying to tell me.”  At this point she moved a bit closer to me and down so I could see her better.  We began again.  Aside from the terribly hurtful jab to the roof of my mouth with Novocain she was okay.  She actually patted me in kindness once to see if I was okay.  She was a kind Eve Braun.

It turns out my mouth is a real mess and no one knew it or could see it until she got into these roots.  I will now have to have this tooth removed as one of the three roots was too far gone to simply kill.  This tooth is way back so no big deal except it has already been capped so this will be a sort of trial since it is attached to a bridge to another tooth.  All I can see is $$$ being dumped into this.

I left this office yesterday morning numbed up – no comments about what else is new – and drove home.  I got home and went to bed.  The dentist is traumatic for me at best or horror for me like yesterday.  The drilling and drilling with little or no let up really harms me somehow.  I came home rattled and gave up.  I could not sleep as my brain was stirring and whirling and my nose was stuffy.  I got up and had some lunch.

Comfort food was what I needed so I made some tomato soup with water along with a peanut butter and butter sandwich half folded over.  Little bites and drink the soup out of a big mug.  I sat on the couch and dozed most of the afternoon away as I did the unwinding from my stress.

I told my husband I now understood why he was so upset when he lost teeth.  He seemed to believe his body was personally assaulting him through his teeth.  I could now understand this psychological mindset.  I told him it is more emotional as well.  I am finally looking at a real change.  If these teeth cannot be saved or fixed I may have to face false teeth.  I really do not want that.

This is when I discover I am somewhat vain.  I do not consider myself that at all.  I could care less what others think of my appearance.  Of course I like to look nice and not be qualified as a ‘Wal-Mart person’.  I dress for comfort, ease and not style.  I was surprised to think that vanity enters in here with this teeth issue.

I am looking at least one more maybe two root canals and losing another tooth if it cannot be saved then that will have to have a root canal.  One of these teeth has an abscess as well.  The plan we had to repair my teeth may not be plausible after all.  I have had teeth issues all my life.  My husband has often said that he should have checked them like they do a horse as our first dental bill for me was huge.

The house next door to the Episcopal Church in my hometown was the place of my first dentist.  No high speed drill or Novocain.  I swear I sat in Dr. Gilley’s chair from the time I was 5 grabbing onto the handles for dear life.  Thinking this is the reason I do not like dental work.  The other dentists have been okay with the exception of one and it was his breath which I later heard might have been from the alcohol he imbibed.  I certainly did not know as a kid! Dr. Kevin Morgester in St.Louis, MO and Dr. Tom Hodge in Batesville, Mississippi have to be my favorites.  They really were very kind to me understanding my fears and angst.  I also like my primary now.

After I finish this today I will call Dr. Carr to make an appointment to discuss what is next.  My insurance will run out so a lot of the work will be from our own wallets.  That does not thrill me as the older I get the tighter I get with money – especially if it is not for our grandchildren!  It is just frustrating!  It feels heavy like carrying a large bag of canned goods.  It is frustrating like trying to thread a needle and missing the eye.  This is something that was easily accomplished for years and now is a struggle!  Frustrating is having the check engine light come on in the car and you know nothing is wrong!  Frustrating is to have to realize you really are growing older!

Can you relate?  Do you have an office that you must visit that leaves you shaking at the doorknob as you enter?  Do you have frustrating issues in your life right now?  Hopefully not!  If so get them out on paper and look at them and then say ‘Okay – Next!’ as I am about to do.

OKAY! OKAY! OKAY! – this is done for the day.  I have no big problems just some teeth that hurt.  I have to slap myself ‘upside’ the head and realize there are those worse off than I.  I have to thank God for the health I do have.  I have to fall on my knees and count my blessings regularly.  I have a husband and children and grandchildren and family to share my life.  I have friends.  I have food and shelter.  I work in a ministry with my husband – both – that I love.   I have my BLOG!!!  I have so very much!   NOW I need to get off this pity party pot!!!  MOVE ON!!!  This too will pass and I will have teeth somehow.  If I have to I can gum my food like Grampa Smith used to do!!!

The up side is that I may lose some weight as I cannot eat food for a few days!  Perhaps this teeth issue has created some of my sleep and other health problems?  Maybe when all this is done I will be in tip top shape once again!!!

Oh to dream!!!  That is another good thing – I am here to do just that DREAM!!!  Life is good!!!

…..ONWARD TO MORE MISADVENTURE…