THE SON OF THE LADY IN YELLOW – BALTIMORE

GOOD MORNING WORLD

It has been a long time since I have written anything of any controversial nature. After being put in my place with stinging words and shunned by family members who no longer have much to do with or visit me or us,  I decided the better part of valor was to keep quiet on controversial issues.   I cannot leave this Baltimore situation alone.  Specifically the situation with the lady in yellow and her son.

I, like the rest of the country dare I say world, watched that video with interest.  I commended the mother in conversations with friends and in social media.  I believe discipline, responsibility and accountability are much of what is lacking in our world today.

Much has now been written about the woman in yellow, Toya Graham.  I can add little to any of it.  She has been called the ‘mother of the year’.  She has just lost a job has six children and does not know where the father is.  It has been suggested that there may be different fathers.  I am not here to judge her taste in men.  The fact is that she is a single mother of six and took charge when she saw her son misbehaving in public.

She told the reporters that she did not want him to be another victim.  Nor did she approve of what he was doing.  No matter her motivations she probably saved that 16 yr old son of hers from further pain by embarrassing him as she did.  His peers were telling him via social media that she deserves the greatest Mother’s Day gift ever.

I also am not here to judge her tactics.  While I do not believe I ever reprimanded my children in quite that way it was effective.   It is surprising though that social services has not intervened and taken all her children away for that act of violence.  Lesser actions by some have taken children from their homes as a ‘protective’ measure.  Perhaps it is a good thing this was caught on camera and the Mayor and City Police Commissioner have held her up as a good example of parenting.

It actually is ironic that this woman is being applauded for her actions which were not dissimilar from the ones the police are accused of taking with the victim that started all of this.

Toya Graham seems to be doing the very best she can with the circumstances in which she lives.  The one thing that it appears that no one has made mention of to this point is the proof of her really good parenting that does not include violent beatings of children.

Toya Graham’s proof of her good parenting I submit is in the way here 16 yr old son reacted to her intervention.  Did anyone notice that this young man did not get in her face and yell back at her?  Did anyone else notice that aside from trying to not have her left hand hit him in the beginning that this young man simply tuned and started home?  Did anyone else see the look on his face when at one point he turned so you could see his whole face?  That look was a look of ‘I know I’ve messed up’.  Did anyone else catch that he stopped when she told him?  There was no hate for his mother there was no anger on his face.  He simply acknowledged the situation and turned and went home.  The young man in question, Michael, was told not to go to the protest.  He went.  What would your parents have done to punish you for disobeying them?

My guess from all that I have seen and read about this that Michael, Toya’s 16 yr old son growing up in a household of 5 sisters and a mother, has learned to respect women from somewhere.   I do not think it is the streets as movies paint a totally different picture of how some young black men relate to women.  Perhaps it is from church as she says she goes to church and in fact her pastor would not like seeing her actions on TV.  Regardless, I am thinking I like the Toya Graham school of parenting that has a 16 yr old willingly doing what his mother is asking (screaming) of him.  I may not agree with the hitting or language, yet her anger and his face tell another story that is totally different.

I leaves me hopeful after this tragic week.

…..ONWARD TO MORE MISADVENTURE…

http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/USA-Update/2015/0428/Mom-of-the-year-Why-a-Baltimore-woman-disciplined-her-son-on-TV-video

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/baltimore-mom-toya-graham-on-smacking-son-at-riots-freddie-gray/

…..AND SO IT BEGINS…THE WEDDING CHINA…

GOOD MORNING WORLD…

It is a dreary day outside of my window.  My usual bad night’s sleep is behind me. I have a list a mile long.  I am stuck with thoughts in my brain that must be exorcised so the blog gets them.  It is a good thing to have a blog in this particular case.  Thoughts not lost simply placed carefully for storage.

A life change is about to happen.  In the next year or so we will be looking seriously into the eyes of retirement.  All your life you work toward this goal.  Now that it is easily accessible one is left wondering where all the time went and what the fuss is all about.  To get to the retirement “place” we have to unload all the “stuff” of our lives that we have spent the last over 45 some odd years acquiring.  Where is the sense in this?

In our case we will be splitting time between the north and the southwest which complicates this move even more.  What goes where?  Do we need to keep this?  Is this a treasure or trash?  It is going to be a long time before we have divested as we need.  It is a good thing to start now.  The better thing might have been to not have acquired it all.  Though I believe every knick knack we have helps create our history and adds to the warmth of our home.

All of this leads to the title of this blog.  The beginning of all the thought actually started on Palm Sunday when we had family for dinner and we were discussing the dishes and stemware on the table.  We determined that few people use fine china anymore.  Few people have Sunday dinners anymore.

I have our Wedding China which is Lenox.  It is plain cream color with a platinum band.  There are place settings for 8 plus salt and pepper shakers and candlesticks.  The places we are going do not have formal dining rooms.  Not only the Wedding China is a question.  The whole dining room set will have to go.  I have mixed feelings about all of this.

Our dining room set was purchased in 1973 second hand from a little old couple in Biddeford, Maine.  I had wanted brand new then and we looked at Ethan Allen and Pennsylvania House and the newspapers for deals too.  When we went to look at this set for $500 with barely a scratch on it and costing about 200 times less than the brand new sets I knew we had our furniture.  The set is a Duncan Fife style mahogany set with a table complete with three leaves and table pads, eight chairs, buffet, server and hutch. 

The only issue we had was a measurement to see if it would fit in our new dining room.  Of course we planned to live in this same house forever.  It did fit and we brought it home.  I was opening all the draws to fill them and found a brand new damask table cloth to fit the table with all three leaves.  I called the lady to tell her that I would bring it back.  She said she left it there for us as we were just starting out and their set was much smaller now.  I understand now what she was saying.  All pieces were refinished in the late 90s.  It has served us well.  What do we do with it?

That is just the beginning of the many decisions we will be facing.  Getting attached to “things” is not ever good yet I think letting go of this dining room set will be a hard choice.  We celebrated births, christenings, engagements, weddings, anniversaries, birthdays and simple Sunday dinners around this table for over 42 years we has it.  If I have to let it go I want it to be cared for and enjoyed as we have.

The same goes for the Wedding China.  Where will that go?  Do the kids want it? We could sell it though not sure it would even sell.  What to do? I have often thought it would fun to set up a essay contest to sell these items.  For $50 – even $10 – and the best 100 word essay you could have furniture or china.  Who would not like a dining room set or china  for that price?  What to do?  Ah the choices to come!

…..ONWARD TO MORE MISADVENTURE…