It seems a highly appropriate time with this being ‘spring ahead’ clock weekend to chat about time and time tilts. This is a term that just came to my mind. TIME TILTS. I think I will use the definition that “TIME TILT: moments in your life when you are teleported in your mind to another space or experience that effected your world.” Sound good? It works for me.
I have TIME TILTS – forward TT – often and they actually can rock me. There are TTs that can bring me comfort. There are TTs that when remembered actually give me relief. TTs create feelings. Thinking they would not be worthy of reflection if they did not.
The reason I am writing after such a long time is I need to do this – simple. Writing seems to ground me. No other explanation.
The reason I am writing about TIME TILTS or TTs is that I just had one. It is the morning of March 9th 2015. I looked at the clock to see that it was about this time 55 yrs ago that I was taken out of school and my 12 year old world starting reeling toward a different future than I had anticipated – if 12 yrs old at the time really anticipated a future. Beside this being my cousins birthday, this was the day my mother died. I am forever changed from that moment.
The thing that amazes and surprises me each year is that no matter how old I am when (and if as sometimes I actually go through the day with no care) I remember what happened this day is that I am automatically 12 again. I am again feeling bereft in my spirit and I cry like that 12 yr old for the what could have beens while all the time happily living in the what is.
TIME TILTS as I said can also be fond memories. The ones that I really enjoy are the tilts that take me back to happy times. Occasionally I will catch a scent of cookies or cakes and I am in my aunt’s kitchen as she is baking in her large white cast iron stove, using her iron sink that has a pump on it as I sit looking out the window on the windowseat between her two counters. At these times a smile comes across my face and I am betting if I have cookies in the jar that I take one!!!
TIME TILTS of relief for me are remembering a lot of my early choices that seemed all so very hard. Breaking up with the boyfriend that I thought I would love for a lifetime. While casting no aspersions onto any ones character those memories in that time tilt leave me with relief as I like the life I have and am still after 46 yrs madly in love with the man that I married. Thus the TT in this case brings feelings of relief.
The trivia for the morning a new way for me to look at life. I love it! Back to work now!
…..ONWARD TO MORE MISADVENTURE…